


One hell of a crisis

by Graskyn



Category: Constantine (TV), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, John Constantine Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22300582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graskyn/pseuds/Graskyn
Summary: John Constantine was sent to hell and met an unexpected friend there. No one is meant to remember betting dead but John does and it’s destroying him
Relationships: John Constantine/Desmond, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	1. The Hellblazer

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this before crisis finished and it’s also my first fanfic so sorry if it’s horrible. I’m just doing this for fun

John held the bottle weakly in between shaken fingers. The pit of it housing a shallow puddle of whiskey. Only a mere hour ago had its cap been broken into by the desperate wizard. His once frantic sober state now drowned by the harsh golden liquid.  
Choking on the humid smokey air, Sara entered the dimly lit library. Their Warlock had not claimed residence on the wave rider and yet the singe of silk cuts in the air told a different story. Truth be told, Sara didn’t even think she’d be able to get the mage to stay the night on the ship, especially since the last time he’d been there she’d almost choked the life out of him.  
She approached the centre of the room haphazardly, avoiding the scattering of makeshift ashtrays and empty glass bottles amongst the hardwood.  
“John” She blurted out all too loud into the maze of books. Getting no response, she concluded that the wizard was somewhere else and had left the library in the pigsty for her to clean.  
“He drinks my whiskey and then leaves cigarette butts everywhere!” She complained out loud.  
He heard the muffling of someone speaking but he was too out of it to care. He goes to light himself a cigarette but then fire. Lots of fire. He drops his lighter on the floor, his weak grip proving helpless. Landing in a bed of spilled alcohol and neglected papers, the light from the metallic lighter roared. Black smoke filled Johns already charred lungs.  
“What the fuck?” Sara noted the change in temperature of the library, the higher presence of smoke. And then the body, John Constantine lay motionless, eyes glazed and unmoved. He seemed oddly peaceful around the blazing scene. Sara wasn’t.  
“Fuck! John!?” He didn’t reply, just waved his hand slightly.  
“Gideon! Extinguish this fire,now!” As if by magic, sprinklers protruded from the ceiling of the wave rider and sprayed the flames below. Constantine flinched at the cold waters and became victim to a rather harsh coughing fit. Sara held him upright. His frame was much lighter and skinner from the last time she recalled seeing him, but that was only a week ago, right? The bags under his eyes now carved deep and generated a raw purpler around hazel eyes. He looked like a shell of the man he once was, as though the life were drained out of him.  
“John, you’re okay...”  
“W-where m I??” He slurred his words as though it were painful to speak.  
“In the wave rider, you... you almost set fire to the ship you idiot!”  
Constantines eyes were still staring into space, his skin waxy and grey. His thin lips gave a small grin.  
“N-not like it would matter..,, shits fucked anyway!” He shouted back at Sara unexpectedly.  
“John, what’s up with you?”  
“I-I know.... about th-the crisis.... I know I died Sara!” John choked, it took him effort to speak.  
“Oh god John... you aren’t meant to know... Oliver was meant to-“  
“Save us—- hnnn” He held a hand to his chest as though it ached. “Well... great f-fucking job he did...”  
Sara looked at the wizards clenched hand as it shook uncontrollably.  
“John...”  
“Sara... I-I died... I went t-to...” Johns brown eyes looked down into his damp trench coat. “I went to... hell ‘n I saw...her”  
“Astra?”  
John shook his head, the movement clearly bringing a wave of vertigo as he had to steady himself in his chair.  
“N-no... Zed” He chokes out the words between helpless sobs


	2. The Truth

“Well she’ll be back now John! Oliver brought everyone back...” Sara said with slight glee, trying to bring hope to the deflated sorcerer.  
“Everyone?”  
“Yes, I did just say that.”  
“Bullshit” Johns tone became harsher, tears hardened into daggers shooting straight for Sara.  
“What do you mean, John?”  
“Zed isn’t coming back, she-“  
“Was already dead before the antimoniter...” Sara shook her head and poured herself a glass of whiskey. John reaches for his own dry glass only for Sara to swipe it out of his still shaking hands.  
“Please luv, I need-“  
“You’ve had enough John” She eyed the empty bottles scattered along the floor. The wizard started to shiver even more so in the library’s only arm chair. He curled up into his trenchcoat, body small enough to be hidden within it.  
“Let’s get you to bed” She pouted as she felt pity toward the helpless scouser.  
“Mnn...no-“ John staggered to his feet, toppling over once he reached the standing position. Sara grabbed him before he fell into the pile of charred books.  
“John, you’re in no state-“  
“I need to see chas!” He explained, desperate. ” I need.. to ask him about her,now”  
Taking a swig from the glass in her hand, Sara used her other hand to pinch the bridge of her nose.  
“We’re on a time ship, there is no need for urgency. You can go rest and then we can see this... Chas.”  
“But I don’t-“  
“John, look at yourself, the bags under your eyes could be used to go shopping for Christ’s sake! Not to mention you aren’t even sober enough to stand”  
John huffed, surrendering himself.  
“Let me-“  
“I’ll... I’ll take myself to bed... don’t want any women in bed with me today heh..”  
\- [ ] Dragging his feet and using the wall for support, he started to leave the library.  
Sara sighs and cleans up the mess left by the Brit in a trenchcoat. Smoke lifted in the room, making the air somewhat breathable again.  
“Captain! Reading up on some memoirs are we?” The joyful cheer of Ray seemed to make the room lighten. A hiss could be heard near the wall.  
“Constantine?”  
He rushed over to the frail man limping towards the door frame.  
“ Piss off!” John waved him away harshly as he finally left the library.  
“Something up with him, Captain?”  
“It’s John bloody Constantine, everything’s up with him”  
It didn’t take long for John to find a place to pass out. An abandoned chair near the medical bay seemed to support the wizards frame well, but awkwardly. Running a hand through grease soaked hair, he tried to push away the memories of hell. The mocking laughs of Astra whispered in the corners of his mind, Zeds screams chimed in his head as he succumbed to his exhaustion.


	3. It’s all a lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuggin I know these are short but I write this for fun because exams are coming soon and im busy.   
> If you want more or something let me know idk if I’m gonna continue this.

Claws ripped at his throat as John heaved the golden liquid and empty stomach of last nights sorrows. He could feel the heaviness of bags that still loomed beneath his red eyes. Scaling the bathrooms wall, he found himself facing the mirror. The man that stared back was lost. There was a grey, lifeless twinge in his skin and his eyes raw red. He prodded his own face as the man in front of him did the same.  
“Master, what fine adventures are we going on today?!”  
John slammed his hand into the mirror, causing it to crack.  
“For Christ’s sake Gary! Just piss off-“  
“You know I can’t do that Master, I am your apprentice after all!” His happy glee was intoxicating. It was only when John turned around to him his smile when slack.  
“John...” Gary’s bottom lip trembled in sync with Johns entire body.  
“Y’know Gary, I knew someone like you. She didn’t half piss me off the way you do every morning, but she liked this- the magic-“ Harsh coughs escaped the warlocks mouth as he lowered himself onto the closed toilet seat wearily.  
“She used to have visions- n’I used her for them... but then.. the tumour”  
“John...”  
“Gary, you haven’t blessed yerself with rays fairy god girlfriend, you’ve doomed yourself you idiot. Anyone who walks my path ends up dead. Or hurt, or worse...”  
“Worse?”  
John opened his mouth to speak again but was interrupted by another coughing attack, this time the pale white tiles of the bathroom floor splattered with his own blood.  
“Fuck” John exclaimed, all too calmly.  
He got up from his seated position all too quickly and collapsed into a very worried Gary.  
“John I thought the cancer was gone”  
Grinning through bloodied teeth, Johns glazed eyes squinted at Gary.  
“John you’re scaring me”  
“Sped it up, didn’t I?”   
He let out pained laughter as he let his own soul coin on a chain dangle from his bloodied hand. The coin, once clean, now looked as dishevelled as the soul it contained. It was bent and crooked in ways only a gymnast could perfect. It looked like a drunkard had been let loose with a screwdriver with it. In fact, that was exactly what happened.  
“John, why did you-“  
“Because look Gary-“  
He pulled out another soul coin, this one however was less twisted and more...burnt? It had a reddish hue that looked almost like a rash or infection. Gary stared into the name cast upon the coin.  
“No-no... it can’t be-“  
“This- hnnng- is the price of magic Gary... your souls as corrupted as mine-“  
“But, what have I done?”  
“The list is a long’n, but it’s mainly that bloody deal you made with Neron and-“  
John stared into the coin as his own blood trickled down it, staining it’s already fatigued look.  
“-me Gary, I did this-“  
“No John this isn’t your fault- I’m the one who was an idiot”  
John grinned as Gary’s tear filled eyes jerked behind his glasses.  
“ Yes you are an idiot, you wanker! You bloody think that forcing me to teach you magic was a good thing eh? You think that I, John Bloody Constantine, the universal con man really fucking loved you. No Gary- your coin is this damaged because I used you. I used your soul, your purity, your links to the legends in order to get my own fucking way. Everything between us was a lie-“  
“You say was like this is over John but we-“  
“Were never real, this thing between us was false. Was a load of bullshit! I abused your wish to use you Gary. I never loved you. Each kiss was an act, each flirt a lie. I used you for my own bidding. I used your- your blatant obliviousness and innocence to get my own way. You damn fool. I’d never fall for an idiotic bastard like you!”  
Gary released Johns aching form and let him fall to the floor. His entire body trembled and he looked over the moments of the past few months. The amount of times Constantine had used him to clean up after him or make him a disgustingly British fry up. He wasn’t angry, he was furious. He had been used by yet another person in his life. He wasn’t a slave, he didn’t deserve this. Hands trembling he began to walk out of the bathroom.  
“The only bastard in here Constantine is you” He spat as he left the man to suffer.  
Those words made Johns heart break into thousands of pieces amongst the tiled floor. He laid his pounding head into a puddle of his own corrupted blood and let tears water down his anger into upset. He was dying and made the only man who loved him suffer. He’d fucked up.


	4. Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit short but here’s Desmond living life without John

Desmond had lived a relatively peaceful life since casting John out of it. Not to say that John was a nuisance. John was at his happiest when he was with Desmond. No drinking to access, no smoking like a wild bush fire. Just smiles and his dry humour escaping through his upturned lips. Although his metaphorical demons were gone, the real demons still lurked in Johns life.  
In his time away from John he’d been getting better, support groups for those affected by the dark arts proved wonders on his nightmares about hell. He’d go there every Wednesday night, it was nice.   
It was around Christmas time and Des decided to go to another meeting, he had abandoned his friends plans to go ice skating. Leaving the bar early, he found himself to be the second person at the hall. The first person there was Francis. He was pacing with a cup of cold black coffee in one hand and running his other through his hair. Him and Francis had become close during the meetings, their stories weren’t the furthest apart. Francis always seemed to be well kept and supportive but now he looked disheveled and lost.  
“Hey, uh, Francis is everything okay?”  
The man froze as though took by surprise at the fact there’s another human on Earth.  
“Oh, Desmond- I didn’ see ye there!” His teeth we were chattering as much as his body shook.  
“Are you okay?”  
“No.”  
“What’s wrong?” He approaches the other man and lays a warm hand against his tense shoulder.  
“It’s me old mate- from back in Liverpool- England” His accent seemed to thicken as he got more upset, reminding Desmond of John.  
“He saw me today- right old state he was in. Turns out he’s got lung cancer and he died but then came back. I can’t keep up with the bloke.”  
Desmond sighed. He’d imagine a similar fate would reach John soon enough.  
“Who was he, Francis? I knew a guy who’d end up in a situation like that.”  
“I’m not meant to say his name- not here. He’s a banned topic in our group-“  
“We’re not in a meeting right now, you can say his name.”  
“Oh god, he- we used to be such good mates until Newcastle- everything went downhill there-“  
Desmond’s breathing hitched, he’d heard John mumble about Newcastle before.  
“Constantine- John... Jesus John bloody Constantine-“  
“No-no you’re Chas aren’t you- Francis Chandler- Chas Chandler... Johnny’s hurt-?”  
Chas opened his eyes wide. “You know John?”  
“We-we has a thing until-“  
“He sent you to hell.”  
Desmond felt his chest fall heavy as phantom pains of hellfire corrode his arms.  
“How did you know?”  
“He always sends em to hell. Didn’t you know?”Chas chuckled.   
“I knew he was- trouble... but I loved him”  
“Have you seen him recently?”  
Desmond shook his head, he couldn’t imagine the shape he’d be in. It had been so long since he’d thought about John. About the fire embers that escape from the ends of his cigarettes that wisp smoke into the night. A scent of whiskey, brimstone and silk cuts he hadn’t smelt in over a year. Only getting faint sniffs of it around his apartment from discarded belongings and loose ties that once belonged to the magician.  
“Where is he?” He chocked out, voice weaker than Chas’s.  
“Follow me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> American chas does not exist- American chas does not exist


	5. Chocolate Coin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John swears a lot

“He’ll be here shortly” Chas said, mouth half full as he grabbed a chocolate coin from a pack in Johns kitchen. It had been years since he’d last been to Northumberland, yet alone Johns house. Well, the place where Mucous Membrane used to crash. The thought of the band made Chas realise how close they actually were to the Casonova club. Damned Newcastle.  
“He never actually brought me here.” Desmond noted, picking through the record cabinet.  
“You must’ve made him happy, e only ever came here to brood and smoke.” He smiles as he threw the metallic wrappings of various chocolate 2p coins into an overflowing bin.  
Desmond put on a fake smile as he picked out an album.  
“Venus of the hard sell? John used to sing this in the shower.”  
“The man likes his own work. He’s stubborn like that.” Chas humoured as the front door opened. “ Told you he wouldn’t be- who are you?”  
Gary stares at the two other men in the house. He recognises the one from the time bureau but has no idea who the other man is.  
“I’m Gary- I just came to collect my stuff- who are you?”  
“I’m Chas and this is Desmond”  
“You’re chas? Wow- I guess you two heard about John. I feel so bad”  
Gary rubs at his eyes before deflating into a chair.  
“Why?” Desmond questioned, thumbing with the record in his hands.  
“I-I called him a-a- bastard... I didn’t mean to- I swear” He grabs onto chas’s jumper and sobs into it. Chas grimaces at the man but pats his back comfortably.  
“Don’t worry, johns a tough bastard, he won’t be offended by that kid.” He tries his best to calm the man clinging to his body and it seems to work.  
“I shouldn’t have left him-“ Desmond stares into the cover of the record, an image of John with heavy amounts of eyeliner and piercings stared back at him.  
“I shouldn’t have left Johnny... I could see through the eyes of Neron how damaged he’d become. How lost he was. But then, when he saved me I left. Let him live with the guilt of damning me to hell. I made him happy...”  
Desmond put down the record and stared at his own feet. Chas and Gary remained silent.  
The door creaked, opening slowly and with immense effort. The three men looked up in shock, Gary still very much attached to Chas.  
“M back Chas” The man behind the door choked out into the house. As he came into view the room froze.  
John looked like utter shit. The mans nose was a raw red and his eyes hollowed deep into his skull. A harsh bleeding gash decorated his left cheekbone and his signature stubble became scraggily and dirty. Golden locks dangled over his pink sweaty forehead.  
His sharp eyes locked onto Desmonds.  
“W-what’re you- Des- whatta-“ The man stuttered, leaning against the door frame for support.  
“Johnny-“ Des approached the man, reaching out to him.  
“N-no don’t- don’t call me- me that-no” John cowers in on himself, attempting to swat his ex-lover away, but with futile success.  
John had a different scent than before. His general musk of smoke now clouded by a strong scent of alcohol and despair.  
“Jus’ fuckin- uh ... Jesus Des- I-“  
“It’s okay John, it’s okay.”  
John grabbed a crumpled handkerchief from his pocket and harshly coughed into it, faint red splutters staining it pink.  
“John, where have you been?” Chas demanded, trying to scrape the former time agent off his being.  
“Oh..., yknow had us a quick cheeky pint round the red lion..., might as well I ain’t got anything else goin for me apart from the booze... even me damn ciggies have betrayed me-“  
“What about us?” Desmond piped up.  
All John could do was grin. A vulgar expression on the mans tired aged face.  
“You... lot... you bloody lot? You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me-“ he coughed into his handkerchief again before approaching the men.  
“You think you lot are worth fuck all in my bloody life... the only reason I kept you muppets around was because one of you can’t fucking die on me, the other can travel anywhere with ease with his bloody thingymagig and you...Des... you were stubborn... I kept you around for sex and comfort because I knew you didn’t want to leave an just look at where that got yer, eh?”  
John goes to walk off into the house.  
“Oi, John don’t you just walk off- we know that ain’t true” Chas shouts out to him.  
“Yeah whatever, I’m fuckin nackered I’m going to bed, you lot go an play charades or something”  
And he left.  
The three men stood there, in silence. Bewildered by Johns attitude, Desmond felt tears brimming the rims of his eyes. Gary finally let go of Chas, fidgeting with his jackets buttons. Chas sighed.  
“I’ve never seen him like that-“ Desmond whispered, picking up the album again.  
“He’s doing it deliberately to drive us away” Chas huffed, fiddling with the chocolate 2p coin in his hand.  
Gary looked at the 2p coin, immediately snatching it off Chas.  
“Hey squirt wha-“  
“I’ve seen this before-“  
“What?”  
“I’ve seen this before!”


End file.
